Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Embracing the Shadow, Embracing the Unseen
This post originally appeared on my Facebook wall on June 11, 2016. I am (somewhat reluctantly) sharing it here with some accompanying advice and commentary from various, anonymous, AMAZING peeps and via various channels. I hope they don't mind, because their words are brilliant and powerful. I simply do this with the hope that it may help someone else who may be suffering with a similar lesson. I call it "crowd-sourced healing."
Shadow work is tricky at best, certainly difficult, and at times - supremely humbling and painful. While seeking forgiveness from those we have hurt, and/or trying to forgive those that hurt us, it is important to remember that we must also forgive ourselves. Sometimes, and for some of us, self-forgiveness is the most difficult thing to do in these circumstances. Self-loathing comes all too easily. A stupid mistake, a lapse in judgement, an instance of callous disregard, (unseen or otherwise) does not a completely terrible person make - but we can certainly carry the idea (and that energy) that we're awful, terrible, unworthy human beings - oftentimes to our great detriment.
Forgiveness is a "Divine Triad" or Trimurti meaning, "having three forms." i.e.
- Please forgive me.
- I forgive you.
- I forgive myself.
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A very hard lesson in the last few days - taking responsibility for your actions and the pain you can cause - even when you're not aware of it, when it doesn't even occur to you (why didn't it?!?!?).
In all fairness to you, it is the ramifications after the act that bring it into scalding relief.
I have to fully embrace and be with my own unacknowledged and unseen callousness (shadow). Disrespectfull-ness. Blockheaded-ness. Thoughtlessness. Judgemental-ness. Stupidity. Narcissism. Naivete.
You never know what's going to activate those hidden realms. It's actually helpful when it occurs because that's where the work happens. If it didn't get stirred, it would remain out of reach but still wielding its power.
Those two things are actually two sides of the same coin (caretaking): over-empathy to people and not-so to intimates. I know all about that. Takes constant vigilance to not repeat.
50 y.o. and still realizing how much the 5 y.o. child can drive the bus sometimes.
I'm a fucking schmuck.
I am so ashamed of myself!
Go easy there brother, this is your oldest wound. Beating up on your self is an old pattern too. Use the shame and guilt to heal but not to torture that little boy even more.
You are not those things that you said. Please don't call my friend Barry names. I have 'protectors' who do their job protecting the little 5 Y.O girl who sometimes runs the show. Even they need to be recognized. They've got validity and have done a great job. I side with them in empathy. Sometimes I go straight to the little one, when I remember to. Precious, you are Barry. All of you.
Pranams to the unseen in all of us.
Sincerest apologies to those that I have hurt.
It was never my intention.
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I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
~ Hoʻoponopono prayer of reconciliation and forgiveness
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OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu.
May all the beings, in all the worlds, be happy.
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Jai HANUMAN-ji, Breath & Hammer of R-A-M