Radical Self-Care is Quantum
The beloved author Anne Lamott made this brilliant observation on her 61st birthday this past year (2015) and went on to say “…and radiates out into the atmosphere, like a little fresh air. It is a huge gift to the world.” What Ann observes is profound truth as we’ve all been taught, but more importantly, as I have personally experienced it. We are unable to change, fix, or heal others – only ourselves. This is a difficult thing to accept and practice especially if someone you love is unhappy, suffering, or on a path of self-destruction. But in the process of caring for ourselves, healing ourselves, something miraculous happens – Grace. It is Grace that transforms us, Grace that holds us, and Grace that creates a 'healing space' around us for others to affect their own healing transformation. If we are consciously doing the work to heal ourselves, it’s like a kind of subconscious permission for others to do the same – a ‘divine hall pass’ that we (mostly) unknowingly hand out to everyone we come in contact with – and even those we don’t.
I am constantly amazed by those that feel that they don’t need to work on themselves, or “I’ve already done my work,” or that it’s not necessary to do more work, or that "I can't afford therapy." I feel you can't afford NOT to pursue self-care and healing. I feel it’s a lifelong journey, not ever a destination. And we all have our own unique blind spots. All of them closely guarded, yet mostly unknown territories. A great teacher (Abdi Assadi) made this interesting observation / suggestion, “individuals and couples should go to counseling when things are going good, not only when there are problems or a crisis.” I wholeheartedly believe that there’s always work to be done, no matter the circumstances and that we all need teachers, guides, allies, therapists, etc. to act as our witnesses and to preferably do so over many years. These important, long term relationships are necessary to tease-apart deep traumas and the resulting complex negative patterns of our psyche, our relationships, and our lives and to bring clarity – as we ourselves change over the course of our relationships and lives. Another brilliant teacher (Richard Bachrach) said, “it’s like bad software that continues to loop until you write new, healthy software to replace it.”
The interesting thing about this whole self-healing thing is that we must ask for it, that we must choose it, that we must actively participate in it. I believe Grace is an active force, or better yet, an ‘activated’ one. This is where I lose the “creeping orthodoxy of positive thinking” folks. I have experienced healing (Grace) only because I have made the difficult choice, time and time again, to do the necessary work on myself and to seek-out skilled guidance in this regard. And the work is hard and at times brutal. And it never seems to end once the choice has been consciously made. You’re either on the healing path or you’re not. No middle way on this one. Sure, you can take a pause, make a detour, fall off the wagon, etc. but you must actively choose to be on the healing path. If you do not make this important choice (the most important?), you’re simply a passenger on this planet, and “there are no passengers on spaceship Earth. We are all crew.”
This is where the quantum rubber meets the inter-dimensional road. We are here to heal ourselves and by the virtue of this difficult work (Grace), help contribute to and create the healing space (Grace) necessary to allow others to make the choice to do the same – and it radiates our families, our friends, our communities, our Great Mother Earth – and out into infinity. This is where the visual metaphor of a single drop of water falling into a still pool, thus creating the concentric, emanating ripples makes for a good analogy. If we REALLY buy into this idea / philosophy of these (almost) imperceptible connections that all beings have, we MUST give credence to the idea that we can and do have effect beyond the physical, beyond the mundane. And this effect begins with a simple choice;
I choose to care-for and heal myself. I choose to do the sometimes arduous work necessary to care-for and heal myself with the time I have in this life. I choose to try to become the absolute best expression of a human being in this lifetime that all our Great Masters and Teachers have taught us and shown us is possible. I choose this out of my desire to be of service to myself and to all beings.
With this simple but profound choice, the Cosmos resonates with your alignment with LOVE as opposed to fear. And this is an expansive choice with a reverberating effect, not one of contraction and diminishment.
Blessings to all,
OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu.
May all the beings, in all the worlds, be happy.